Great job, Tessa!!

Posted by The Man with the Hat from port137.maxc03.bignet.net on June 25, 1999 at 13:17:08:

In Reply to: The Revised Chapter 16 and new Chapter 17 of the Egyptain Escapade posted by Tessa on June 25, 1999 at 07:14:00:

: Well folks, I did it...Tell me what you think. Tessa

: Chapter 16

: Kate gasped, "You!"
: "Please Mrs. Jones," answered Mohan, somewhat irritated, "Just come with me quietly."
: Kate began moving her hand slowly to her purse.
: "I wouldn't do that!" Mohan commented as he quickly snatched Kate's purse and removed her pistol, examining it discreetly. "Where is your pistol?"
: Kate thought quickly, "I threw it off the train!"
: Mohan sighed in unbelief. "No matter. Come along!"
: He seized her arm and shoved her to her feet

: As the two exited the compartment side-by-side, Elsie glanced up from her notes. For a brief second Elsie's eyes met Kate’s, and knew immediately what was happening.
: Elsie carefully slid Kate's pistol into her hand, and stuck her head out her compartment door just enough to see Kate's captor closing the door to the rear of the train car behind them.
: Taking a deep breath, Elsie stood up. Keeping the semi-automatic pistol in her hand between her purse and her hip, she headed for the rear train car door.

: Indy had gone through the entire train. All that was left was the caboose. He walked out the rear door and saw Omar standing at the rail, his back to Indy.
: "Hello, Dr. Jones," Omar said, without turning around.
: "I ought to kill you right now," Indy said.
: Omar turned. "And what's stopping you?"
: Indy lunged at Omar, who in turn hit Indy in the temple with a large opal ring, which he wore on his right hand.
: Indy wobbled and fell.
: "You look very smart in that uniform," Omar said. "Perhaps they will give you a military burial."
: Omar grabbed a rung on the ladder and began to scamper to the top of the train. Indy rose and grabbed Omar's ankle, and was rewarded with a kick under the chin, which slammed him against the door of the caboose.
: "I'm getting to old for this shit," Indy said, as he climbed the ladder after Omar.
: Indy pulled himself onto the top of the train and saw that Omar was already gaining ground. He lashed out with his whip and snared Omar's ankle.
: Omar fell and nearly rolled off the side of the train.
: As Omar held on, Indy walked to within inches of the side of the train, and looked down at Omar.
: Omar tried to pull himself up.
: "This is for Kate!" Indy said as he kicked Omar in the side of his head.
: Blood oozed from a cut on his cheek.
: Indy kicked him again! "This is for my boys!"
: One of Omar's hands slipped from the ledge. He looked up at Indy as he hung on for his life.
: "And this one's for me!" Indy said as he let go with a third kick. Omar's free hand grabbed Indy's foot and twisted, forcing Indy to the surface of the train.
: Omar climbed up and kicked Indy in the ribs.
: "That was for our beloved Ahknaton!" Omar said.
: Indy shot his foot up, hitting Omar squarely in the groin. He doubled over and through clenched teeth yelled, "Mohan!"
: Kate's head appeared above the edge of the caboose followed by the ugly mug of Mohan. They reached the top, and Mohan stood behind her, Indy's Webley to her head.
: "Now, Dr. Jones, witness the power of Ahknaton!"
: Omar ripped open his shirt, revealing the disc on a chain around his neck.
: The disc glowed in the rising sun!

: "Kate!!!", shrieked a voice from behind Mohan.
: All eyes turned to see Elsie lifting her gun.
: Panicked, Mohan quickly lifted his gun.
: As Mohan was aiming at Elsie, Kate's elbow shot into Mohan's stomach! She spun and hit the side of his head with her knee. Mohan stumbled, then fell from the train.

: Omar grabbed Indy by the front of his officer's jacket and hoisted him in the air.
: "You are a flea, Dr. Jones!" Omar said. "But, I... I am a GOD!
: Indy found himself soaring through the air as Omar tossed him from the train.
: "Indy!" Kate shrieked.
: Indy rolled over and over in the soft sand.
: In Indy's mind, it looked as though Omar was flying as he leaped from the train, landing with Indy at his feet.
: The disc glowed brighter as the sun got stronger.
: Omar picked Indy up again, and Indy let go with a barrage of punches, which hurt his hands more than they did Omar.
: Omar threw Indy, who smacked against a date palm. He rubbed his behind as his hand felt the object from Ahknaton's temple.
: He reached in his pocket and retrieved the object as Omar closed in for the kill.
: Indy positioned the object so that it was directly under the hot Egyptian sun.
: A brilliant beam erupted from the device, landing in the center of the disc.
: Indy shielded his eyes, as the intensity of the glowing amulet became too much to bear.
: The disc burned into Omar's chest but still he kept coming.
: Indy stood, holding the crystal closer to the sun. The device vibrated in his hands.
: Omar kept coming, and Indy wondered how much longer his charred skeleton could support his weight.
: Omar reached out his hand to Indy, and fell, dying at Indy’s feet.
: Indy took out a handkerchief and removed the disc from the neck of Omar's corpse.

:
: Chapter 17
: "Indy!" a voice wailed in the distance.
: Indy turned and saw Kate and Elsie coming down the tracks, there arms furiously pumping a handcar.
: They stopped near Indy and he helped them down.
: "How...? Indy started.
: "We convinced the engineer to stop the train," Elsie said.
: "Female wiles," Indy stated.
: "That," Kate said. "And a little help from Smith and Wesson" as they both showed there guns.
: "You didn't...” Indy said.
: “That’s our secret,” Kate replied.
: Elsie said, "Where's Omar?"
: "He's dead," Indy said, matter-of-factly.
: "I want you to have this," Elsie said, removing the wad of bills that Indy had given her.
: "You earned it," Indy said.
: "I'm sorry," Elsie said. "I simply can't."
: "How about a trade, then?" Indy said, holding up the disc.
: They all laughed, then climbed aboard the handcar.
: It was a long trip back to Cairo

: They stopped when nightfall came and they settled in Bani Suwayf. They found lodging for the night and clothes for Elsie and Kate to change into. As they sat down to eat in Indy’s and Kate’s room, Elsie looked at Kate and said,
: “You surprised me, Kate. I thought your husband was the adventurer.”
: “I surprise myself sometimes, Elsie.”
: “And she does,” Indy replied.
: “But any archeologist has to face danger.”
: Kate laughed at her as Elsie asked, “What’s so funny?”
: “What made you think I am an archeologist?”
: “Aren’t you?”
: Kate looked at Indy and asked, “Think I should tell her?”
: “Tell me what?” Elsie asked.
: “Kate’s not an archeologist,” Indy replied.
: “I’m a certified professor of music history, but I am one of the curators of a museum that used to fund Indy’s expeditions.”
: “I would never have realized…” Elsie said.
: “It’s ok,” Kate brushed it off the comment, “I’m used to it.”

I'm so proud to be on this writing team!

Follow Ups:

Thanks, but if you want to write the next chapter, you're welcomed to! (nm) Tessa 13:29:09 6/25/99 (1)
- I think it's perfect just the way it is!! (nm) The Man with the Hat 15:43:34 6/25/99 (0)

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Comments:

: : Well folks, I did it...Tell me what you think. Tessa

: : Chapter 16

: : Kate gasped, "You!"
: : "Please Mrs. Jones," answered Mohan, somewhat irritated, "Just come with me quietly."
: : Kate began moving her hand slowly to her purse.
: : "I wouldn't do that!" Mohan commented as he quickly snatched Kate's purse and removed her pistol, examining it discreetly. "Where is <i> your </I>pistol?"
: : Kate thought quickly, "I threw it off the train!"
: : Mohan sighed in unbelief. "No matter. Come along!"
: : He seized her arm and shoved her to her feet

: : As the two exited the compartment side-by-side, Elsie glanced up from her notes. For a brief second Elsie's eyes met Kate’s, and knew immediately what was happening.
: : Elsie carefully slid Kate's pistol into her hand, and stuck her head out her compartment door just enough to see Kate's captor closing the door to the rear of the train car behind them.
: : Taking a deep breath, Elsie stood up. Keeping the semi-automatic pistol in her hand between her purse and her hip, she headed for the rear train car door.

: :  Indy had gone through the entire train. All that was left was the caboose. He walked out the rear door and saw Omar standing at the rail, his back to Indy.
: :  "Hello, Dr. Jones," Omar said, without turning around.
: :  "I ought to kill you right now," Indy said.
: :  Omar turned. "And what's stopping you?"
: :  Indy lunged at Omar, who in turn hit Indy in the temple with a large opal ring, which he wore on his right hand.
: :  Indy wobbled and fell.
: :  "You look very smart in that uniform," Omar said. "Perhaps they will give you a military burial."
: :  Omar grabbed a rung on the ladder and began to scamper to the top of the train. Indy rose and grabbed Omar's ankle, and was rewarded with a kick under the chin, which slammed him against the door of the caboose.
: :  "I'm getting to old for this shit," Indy said, as he climbed the ladder after Omar.
: :  Indy pulled himself onto the top of the train and saw that Omar was already gaining ground. He lashed out with his whip and snared Omar's ankle.
: :  Omar fell and nearly rolled off the side of the train.
: :  As Omar held on, Indy walked to within inches of the side of the train, and looked down at Omar.
: :  Omar tried to pull himself up.
: :  "This is for Kate!" Indy said as he kicked Omar in the side of his head.
: :  Blood oozed from a cut on his cheek.
: :  Indy kicked him again! "This is for my boys!"
: :  One of Omar's hands slipped from the ledge. He looked up at Indy as he hung on for his life.
: :  "And this one's for me!" Indy said as he let go with a third kick. Omar's free hand grabbed Indy's foot and twisted, forcing Indy to the surface of the train.
: :  Omar climbed up and kicked Indy in the ribs.
: :  "That was for our beloved Ahknaton!" Omar said.
: :  Indy shot his foot up, hitting Omar squarely in the groin. He doubled over and through clenched teeth yelled, "Mohan!"
: :  Kate's head appeared above the edge of the caboose followed by the ugly mug of Mohan. They reached the top, and Mohan stood behind her, Indy's Webley to her head.
: :  "Now, Dr. Jones, witness the power of Ahknaton!" 
: :  Omar ripped open his shirt, revealing the disc on a chain around his neck. 
: :  The disc glowed in the rising sun!

: : "Kate!!!", shrieked a voice from behind Mohan.
: : All eyes turned to see Elsie lifting her gun.
: : Panicked, Mohan quickly lifted his gun. 
: : As Mohan was aiming at Elsie, Kate's elbow shot into Mohan's stomach! She spun and hit the side of his head with her knee. Mohan stumbled, then fell from the train.

: : Omar grabbed Indy by the front of his officer's jacket and hoisted him in the air.
: : "You are a flea, Dr. Jones!" Omar said. "But, I... I am a GOD!
: : Indy found himself soaring through the air as Omar tossed him from the train.
: : "Indy!" Kate shrieked.
: : Indy rolled over and over in the soft sand.
: : In Indy's mind, it looked as though Omar was flying as he leaped from the train, landing with Indy at his feet.
: : The disc glowed brighter as the sun got stronger.
: : Omar picked Indy up again, and Indy let go with a barrage of punches, which hurt his hands more than they did Omar.
: : Omar threw Indy, who smacked against a date palm. He rubbed his behind as his hand felt the object from Ahknaton's temple.
: : He reached in his pocket and retrieved the object as Omar closed in for the kill.
: : Indy positioned the object so that it was directly under the hot Egyptian sun.
: : A brilliant beam erupted from the device, landing in the center of the disc.
: : Indy shielded his eyes, as the intensity of the glowing amulet became too much to bear.
: : The disc burned into Omar's chest but still he kept coming. 
: : Indy stood, holding the crystal closer to the sun. The device vibrated in his hands.
: : Omar kept coming, and Indy wondered how much longer his charred skeleton could support his weight.
: : Omar reached out his hand to Indy, and fell, dying at Indy’s feet.
: : Indy took out a handkerchief and removed the disc from the neck of Omar's corpse.

: : 
: : Chapter 17
: : "Indy!" a voice wailed in the distance.
: : Indy turned and saw Kate and Elsie coming down the tracks, there arms furiously pumping a handcar. 
: : They stopped near Indy and he helped them down.
: : "How...? Indy started.
: : "We convinced the engineer to stop the train," Elsie said.
: : "Female wiles," Indy stated.
: : "That," Kate said. "And a little help from Smith and Wesson" as they both showed there guns.
: :  "You didn't...” Indy said.
: : “That’s our secret,” Kate replied.
: :  Elsie said, "Where's Omar?"
: :  "He's dead," Indy said, matter-of-factly.
: :  "I want you to have this," Elsie said, removing the wad of bills that Indy had given her.
: :  "You earned it," Indy said.
: :  "I'm sorry," Elsie said. "I simply can't."
: :  "How about a trade, then?" Indy said, holding up the disc.
: :  They all laughed, then climbed aboard the handcar.
: :  It was a long trip back to Cairo

: : They stopped when nightfall came and they settled in Bani Suwayf.  They found lodging for the night and clothes for Elsie and Kate to change into. As they sat down to eat in Indy’s and Kate’s room, Elsie looked at Kate and said,
: : “You surprised me, Kate. I thought your husband was the adventurer.”
: : “I surprise myself sometimes, Elsie.”
: : “And she does,” Indy replied.
: : “But any archeologist has to face danger.”
: : Kate laughed at her as Elsie asked, “What’s so funny?”
: : “What made you think I am an archeologist?”
: : “Aren’t you?”
: : Kate looked at Indy and asked, “Think I should tell her?”
: : “Tell me what?” Elsie asked.
: : “Kate’s not an archeologist,” Indy replied.
: : “I’m a certified professor of music history, but I am one of the curators of a museum that used to fund Indy’s expeditions.”
: : “I would never have realized…” Elsie said.
: : “It’s ok,” Kate brushed it off the comment, “I’m used to it.”

: I'm so proud to be on this writing team!

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